Phrases of the Day – Archive

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Here’s the archive of the Phrases of the Day:

November 22nd:

  • I am Batman.
  • I’ll warm it up in my hands – before I do anything with it.
  • I’d jump in front of a bus for any one of you. As long as the bus isn’t moving.

November 21st:

  • The aliens will be visiting Uranus.
  • Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.
  • If I had any money, I wouldn’t be shaking this thing near as hard.

November 20th:

  • Liquor Off is a chain store.
  • I dated a goat from the petting zoo.
  • On this program failure is not an option. It comes bundled as part of the package.

November 17th:

  • Boiled down pee.
  • Your monkey’s hung.
  • It’s the working hard part that some people seem to have trouble with.

November 16th:

  • An unrealistic fear of Kellie Pickler.
  • Precook your giblets.
  • We might as well be eating bacon.

November 15th:

  • Is Cliff’s head heavier than a bowling ball.
  • I made it through a day of work without punching anyone in the throat.
  • He sucks the life from your soul.

November 8th:

  • Did you ever want to kill a bird so much in your entire life?
  • Pay for your Thanksgiving Dinner.
  • Farting their way out of being arrested.

November 1st:

  • A medium-sized, aquatic rodent.
  • I got the last squirt out of it.
  • I’ll pay the stupidity tax myself.

October 31st:

  • Farts in a jar (honorable mention).
  • Dude sent his wife out to kiss us.
  • A hairbrush in your peanut butter jar.
  • All of his private parts were still accounted for.

October 25th:

  • You stuck your tongue in an outlet.
  • All of our DJ’s are busy entertaining other listeners.
  • You can hear the signal echoing off the county line.

October 24th:

  • The whiskey fork in the road.
  • A ghoul riding a donkey.
  • The Morning Road Show. It makes you miserable, and it’ll send you to the poor farm.

October 12th 2017:

  • The sweat stain that looks like Elvis.
  • I have had a pair of pantyhose on my head.
  • You can come over, you just can’t come in.

October 11th 2017:

  • You can take it into the bathroom and play with it.
  • How hairy is Paul Viton?
  • A touch of pity wouldn’t be bad.

October 10th 2017:

  • I have a few spare diapers.
  • You can’t learn how to be a ninja from a comic book.
  • Please – never break up.

October 9th 2017:

  • Sorry I clogged your toilet.
  • I get to thinking about that more than swallowing.
  • Did you have to purchase your own goggles.

October 6th 2017:

  • I don’t think I want used underwear.
  • The finger that points to the stars – can also pick your nose.
  • I lifted my leg and let it go.

October 5th 2017:

  • Too old to do the Night Moves.
  • The man with the missing thumb.
  • Strap a boot on and let’s go drinking.

October 4th 2017:

  • If you bite in the wrong place.
  • I’ve never seen a bruised snake.
  • Kale and Crap.

October 3rd 2017:

  • You could get more satisfaction with a bigger banana.
  • Just say no to squirting jelly.
  • Go fund my pitiful life.

September 27th 2017:

  • Pooping is not free speech.
  • One stroke produces a lot, but I double-stroked it.
  • If I was gonna be a sinner, I’d pick peanut butter pie.

September 26th, 2017:

  • Adolph Hitler’s underwear.
  • Spray-on gift wrap.
  • Why don’t you do something different with your face.

September 25th, 2017:

  • Basically – you sneezed into the wind.
  • No wedgie for you today.
  • This program may not be for everyone.

September 22nd, 2017:

  • Little Ninja Master
  • I’ll be drunk enough to see 10 of you.
  • Congratulations! You owe us money!

September 21st, 2017:

  • Loose monkey report.
  • Does anyone have any clean pants?
  • I don’t think they actually realize what they have in their hands.

September 20th, 2017:

  • The Dutch Oven World Championships.
  • There’s a lady out here taking a poop.
  • I was pinching myself.

September 19th, 2017:

  • We don’t flush our cash.
  • They’ll give you a free Twinkie.
  • A good place to shove your fruits and vegetables.

September 18th, 2017:

  • Don’t take selfies with bears.
  • Poop on his toothbrush.
  • Someone’s broken into your home and showered.

September 15, 2017:

  • I had to spit somewhere.
  • You could probably keep pace with a pet rock.
  • He went under the desk, and got right between your legs.

September 14, 2017:

  • Rub a raw place on my noggin.
  • I wasn’t sure about the Playtex.
  • We’ve told you over and over again – use the men’s room.

September 13, 2017:

  • Cynicism and Despair
  • There’s a penalty if you steal a dead body.
  • What is a fatberg? I’m glad you asked!

September 12, 2017:

  • Visible halitosis.
  • Let’s see how breathing works for me.
  • They got the right guy for the sewage department.

September 11, 2017:

  •  Have you seen my underwear.
  •  What is a grabby arm?
  •  It’s one of my favorite parts of the program, because is signifies the end of it.

September 8, 2017:

  •  A $900 fine for farting.
  •  You’re not a very good bookie.
  •  A clown has never passed me a weiner.

September 7, 2017:

  •  A peanut butter and onion sandwhich.
  •  Participated in a sausage contest.
  •  Still listening to you guys in the morning – don’t have any cable TV.

September 6, 2017:

  •  Back and butt hair.
  •  A rope thong.
  •  You guys should screen your calls better.