The views and opinions expressed in this article are uniquely those of Weed and Cliff, and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any agency of the U.S. government, advertisers on our radio station, any other parties, foreign or domestic, and especially – Oppressive Management. Or Walter, who lives on 3rd street.
For further details please listen to the program weekdays from 6 to 10 AM.
Here’s the archive of the Phrases of the Day:
- I am Batman.
- I’ll warm it up in my hands – before I do anything with it.
- I’d jump in front of a bus for any one of you. As long as the bus isn’t moving.
- The aliens will be visiting Uranus.
- Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.
- If I had any money, I wouldn’t be shaking this thing near as hard.
- Liquor Off is a chain store.
- I dated a goat from the petting zoo.
- On this program failure is not an option. It comes bundled as part of the package.
- Boiled down pee.
- Your monkey’s hung.
- It’s the working hard part that some people seem to have trouble with.
- An unrealistic fear of Kellie Pickler.
- Precook your giblets.
- We might as well be eating bacon.
- Is Cliff’s head heavier than a bowling ball.
- I made it through a day of work without punching anyone in the throat.
- He sucks the life from your soul.
- Did you ever want to kill a bird so much in your entire life?
- Pay for your Thanksgiving Dinner.
- Farting their way out of being arrested.
- A medium-sized, aquatic rodent.
- I got the last squirt out of it.
- I’ll pay the stupidity tax myself.
- Farts in a jar (honorable mention).
- Dude sent his wife out to kiss us.
- A hairbrush in your peanut butter jar.
- All of his private parts were still accounted for.
- You stuck your tongue in an outlet.
- All of our DJ’s are busy entertaining other listeners.
- You can hear the signal echoing off the county line.
- The whiskey fork in the road.
- A ghoul riding a donkey.
- The Morning Road Show. It makes you miserable, and it’ll send you to the poor farm.
October 12th 2017:
- The sweat stain that looks like Elvis.
- I have had a pair of pantyhose on my head.
- You can come over, you just can’t come in.
October 11th 2017:
- You can take it into the bathroom and play with it.
- How hairy is Paul Viton?
- A touch of pity wouldn’t be bad.
October 10th 2017:
- I have a few spare diapers.
- You can’t learn how to be a ninja from a comic book.
- Please – never break up.
October 9th 2017:
- Sorry I clogged your toilet.
- I get to thinking about that more than swallowing.
- Did you have to purchase your own goggles.
October 6th 2017:
- I don’t think I want used underwear.
- The finger that points to the stars – can also pick your nose.
- I lifted my leg and let it go.
October 5th 2017:
- Too old to do the Night Moves.
- The man with the missing thumb.
- Strap a boot on and let’s go drinking.
October 4th 2017:
- If you bite in the wrong place.
- I’ve never seen a bruised snake.
- Kale and Crap.
October 3rd 2017:
- You could get more satisfaction with a bigger banana.
- Just say no to squirting jelly.
- Go fund my pitiful life.
September 27th 2017:
- Pooping is not free speech.
- One stroke produces a lot, but I double-stroked it.
- If I was gonna be a sinner, I’d pick peanut butter pie.
September 26th, 2017:
- Adolph Hitler’s underwear.
- Spray-on gift wrap.
- Why don’t you do something different with your face.
September 25th, 2017:
- Basically – you sneezed into the wind.
- No wedgie for you today.
- This program may not be for everyone.
September 22nd, 2017:
- Little Ninja Master
- I’ll be drunk enough to see 10 of you.
- Congratulations! You owe us money!
September 21st, 2017:
- Loose monkey report.
- Does anyone have any clean pants?
- I don’t think they actually realize what they have in their hands.
September 20th, 2017:
- The Dutch Oven World Championships.
- There’s a lady out here taking a poop.
- I was pinching myself.
September 19th, 2017:
- We don’t flush our cash.
- They’ll give you a free Twinkie.
- A good place to shove your fruits and vegetables.
September 18th, 2017:
- Don’t take selfies with bears.
- Poop on his toothbrush.
- Someone’s broken into your home and showered.
September 15, 2017:
- I had to spit somewhere.
- You could probably keep pace with a pet rock.
- He went under the desk, and got right between your legs.
September 14, 2017:
- Rub a raw place on my noggin.
- I wasn’t sure about the Playtex.
- We’ve told you over and over again – use the men’s room.
September 13, 2017:
- Cynicism and Despair
- There’s a penalty if you steal a dead body.
- What is a fatberg? I’m glad you asked!
September 12, 2017:
- Visible halitosis.
- Let’s see how breathing works for me.
- They got the right guy for the sewage department.
September 11, 2017:
- Have you seen my underwear.
- What is a grabby arm?
- It’s one of my favorite parts of the program, because is signifies the end of it.
September 8, 2017:
- A $900 fine for farting.
- You’re not a very good bookie.
- A clown has never passed me a weiner.
September 7, 2017:
- A peanut butter and onion sandwhich.
- Participated in a sausage contest.
- Still listening to you guys in the morning – don’t have any cable TV.
September 6, 2017:
- Back and butt hair.
- A rope thong.
- You guys should screen your calls better.